2020 Focused: Marriage
“40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” ~ American Psychological Association [1]
“Why are divorce rates higher in religiously conservative ‘red’ states?” ~ Council on Contemporary Families [2]
“Conservative Christians Divorce More Than Other Groups” ~ The Huffington Post [3]
“[C]ommunities with large concentrations of conservative Protestants actually produce higher divorce rates than others.” ~ American Journal of Sociology [4]
My wife and I celebrate 10 years of marriage this March. We are so glad we never let any of these types of reports influence us, except to reaffirm our commitment to our marital covenant.
The reason none of these reports should influence anyone is because they are all a LIE!
The world, and maybe even the church, has told couples for years that they have a 50/50 chance of staying married, if they want to risk it.
How encouraging.
Time after time after time, young people have been told these terrible, discouraging things about marriage, and all along they have been nothing but falsehoods.
A few years ago, researchers Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead published the results of years of study in a book entitled The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce. (shaunti.com/tb-books/good-news-marriage/)
Providing detailed research with numerous studies and sources, here are some of their conclusions: [5]
- The actual divorce rate has never been close to 50%.
- Currently, 72% of married people are still married to their first spouse!
- Of the remaining 28%, many ended by death, not divorce.
- The actual divorce rate for first marriages is closer to 20% and about 31% for all marriages (first and subsequent).
- Surveys show that 80% of marriages are “happy”, with many showing 91%-97% rated as “happy”.
- 93% of married couples say that if they had it to do over, they would marry their spouse again.
- Couples who attend church services weekly see their chances of divorce drop 27%.
- Couples who pray together see their chances of divorce drop by 50%!
- For remarriages, 65% of women in their second marriage are still married to their spouse. Of the 35% who are not still married to their second spouse, a significant percentage of those marriages ended in death.
- In 82% of struggling marriages, one partner is unaware of his or her spouse’s unhappiness. This is why for those who stick to it, after 5 years they rate their marriage as “very happy”.
Sadly, though, our culture has done such a good job attacking marriage that now 74% of “first unions” are those who are “living together” out of wedlock (it was 58% in the 1990s). [6] It should be noted that 85% of couples living together eventually get married by age 46, usually because of child custody, tax benefits, etc. The end result, however, does not excuse the sin (Hebrews 13:4).
The point, though, is that there is incredibly good news with
which to encourage couples who are contemplating marriage! The church should
be about promoting the wonders and benefits of marriage!
After all, it was
designed and established by God Himself (Gen. 2:18-25, Matthew 19:4-6).
[1] http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/
[2] https://contemporaryfamilies.org/impact-of-conservative-protestantism-on-regional-divorce-rates/
[3] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/24/conservative-christian-divorce_n_813137.html
[4] https://ifstudies.org/blog/findings-on-red-and-blue-divorce-are-not-exactly-black-and-white/
[5] Shaunti Feldhahn with Tally Whitehead, The Good News About Marriage , Multnomah Books, 2014, pp. 130-133.
[6] Ibid., pp. 139-140.
